ON COURSE INTERNATIONAL
Couples learn how to create and sustain authentic, loving relationships.

Client ProfilesCouples

We work with couples in varying stages of their relationship. Using a medical metaphor, relationships may be broadly categorized as having full health, a head cold, bronchitis, or pneumonia. Characteristics of these states are described below.

Our work is not marriage or relationship therapy. We don't try to heal the relationship or even hold the relationship together. Our goal is to have each person take 100% responsibility for the state of the relationship (200% together). Only then does the relationship have the potential to be authentic and enduring.

Our Couples Retreats help healthy relationships become even more vibrant. For head cold and bronchitis relationships we first get the commitment of each party to work on themselves. Then, at a Couples Retreat we guide them in developing and sustaining a healthy relationship. We do not work with couples in the pneumonia category.

Healthy Relationships

  • Committed to authentic, truthful communications; each speaking their truth to the other
  • Each person takes 100% responsibility for his or her role in the relationship
  • Ongoing appreciation for one another
  • Conflicts are addressed quickly, cleanly, creatively
  • Each person is committed to collaborating on plans for both their individual lives and their life together
  • A mutual mindset of "I want to please, honor, help, serve you ... without giving up who I am."
  • Lots of laughter

Head Cold Relationships

  • Occasional anger or pouting, but usually with a quick recovery
  • Occasional disagreement or clumsy communication around child rearing, sex, money, vocational roles, or other difficult topics, yet a foundation of care and love exists in the partnership
  • Denial about certain issues, perhaps saying something like, "Well, we just don't talk about _______." (e.g., sex, money, the in-laws, her drinking, his work, our beliefs)
  • In a period of life transition (major career changes, children leaving home, ill or dying parents, financial stress) and neither party knows how to address the coming change

Bronchitis

  • One (or both) parties feels a sense of entitlement "after all I've done"
  • Ongoing defensiveness or miscommunications: "I never said that"
  • Weak boundaries – giving in, then getting angry
  • An ongoing pattern of sullenness, blaming, complaining, concealing, controlling
  • A major unconfessed secret (e.g., infidelity)
  • Both parties are regularly trapped in the Victim-Villain-Hero triangle
  • Patterns of addiction, enabling, and co-dependence

Pneumonia

  • Chronic, confessed or unconfessed infidelity
  • Ongoing rage or physical abuse
 
  • Andrew Daly
    General Partner – Gore Peaks Investments, LLC
    “Lasting personal transitions are difficult at best and often feel overwhelming, consuming extraordinary amounts of time and energy. My Personal Transformation Retreat with Jim allowed me to explore my strengths and shadows in a focused, supportive environment. I returned much better prepared for my next great opportunity. Jim’s support has continued beyond the retreat, anchoring the effectiveness and the value.”
  • Dick Simon
    WPO – Boston
    "Jim's Marriage at Midlife program really helped Patty and me to improve and deepen our communication, think about and structure our next life stages, focus on priorities, and face our 'shadows' head-on. We have a much richer relationship as a result. An absolute '10' life-changing and enriching experience."
  • Khaled and Shaden Bushnaq
    Dubai, UAE
    "Jim helped us in identifying how past events in our lives left marks that influenced our behavior and the way we now perceive ourselves, people, and actions. Realizing the root causes provided clarity to many issues."
  • Michael Brown
    YPO – Barbary Coast
    “Crazy as it sounds, my first three-day retreat with Jim changed my life. With what I learned from Jim, I have a whole new framework to think about my life purpose, the relationships in my life, and how to be truly happy.”
  • Chris Haase
    YPO – Nevada
    “Jim has helped me shape a vision of how I'd like my life to turn out, how I'd like to be remembered someday by my family and friends, and what really matters most. He's also helped me piece together a map to that place. I now have a reliable compass for choosing a route that best suits my personality and value system. Our work together has been a real blessing.”
  • Arvid Albanese
    YPO – Florida
    “Work hard, play hard was my motto for my first 40 years. I had a successful business and a lot of fun, but my relationships were shallow. When Jim invited me to explore a ‘life beyond myself,’ I was intrigued yet realized I was clueless as to what this would look like. But in some strange way I knew it was a missing link. Today, with Jim’s guidance, I feel I’m a much more grounded person. Although there are times when it feels harder and less fun, I feel I’ve become more joyous, giving, and vulnerable. And it feels great.”
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